before christmas maybe autumm home wher e

red and w

there wqas a festival and some yoga and an other sport a brocken looker

two times spoert to do
one forgotten both at the same time

helicopters and darthvadder

Joe sagt:
hello sexy good morning
billy sagt:
morning
Joe sagt:
how are you?
billy sagt:
hmm I dreamt I was darth vadder flying over the city
Joe sagt:
cool
billy sagt:
then I woke up because I heared a heilcopter
Joe sagt:
ok
billy sagt:
sorry ffor my bad english
Joe sagt:
it is not bad
billy sagt:
thank you
Joe sagt:
your welcome
billy sagt:
I was injured in my dream
Joe sagt:
wow
billy sagt:
I could not malk so properly so I had to fly
walk
Joe sagt:
ok
billy sagt:
strange was that no one really recocnized it
Joe sagt:
ok
billy sagt:
but after I was out side the building I could fly quite easy high and high over the houses of the city
Joe sagt:
awesome
billy sagt:
I landed on a skyscraper there I met these guys that offer flightabove the city with a helicopter
Joe sagt:
ok
billy sagt:
but in the beginning of the dream inside the building I was trying to hunt some body
I could hardly move
Joe sagt:
ok
billy sagt:
my enemy was close so I escaped outside I knew he would not atacct if there are zivilians around me .... maybe he was luke

die ganze sozuialisation ist der totale beschiß

also ich habe mit fruenden in einer wind muhle gewohnt die sehr hoch war un in deren innerem habe ich eine riesige stapelei von kisten gebaut und habe immer mehr auf ein ander gestapelt sehr sehr hoch bis alles unter mir zusammen gebrochen ist
der sturz war sehr dreidimensional fast ueber real wirklicher als ich mein leben erlebe wie in einem film mit spezial effects oder auf droge
weiß auch nicht aber das war der beste augenblick des traums
es ist mir zum glueck nichts passiert alles war nur peinlich ich hoffe ich schaff es die kisten vernunftig zu stapeln oder weg zu schmeißen


will hier lieber keine realitaet rein bringen ...

some man

some men are beautiful

the first time I saw you
it was a party of a friend
your were friend with her partner
you were standing in that group
of good looking rich obviosly
gay looking for party
drinking beer and smoking cugarrets
outside
you looked so clever, sporty and sane
I just came from outside dirty and sweaty
from playing
hungry and confused

after a while nothing happened I asked my friend
who you were
she told
we would match
you and I do the same drug
didnot happen to see you again and
nothing happend for a year
I were smoking on my own
my friend told me you needed help and lost your way

the second time
I saw you
was after party I am not so sure anymore were it was or with who you or I were there I remember I was drunk
this time I was drunk
and in a good mood
you did not run away
as I walked over
so I said a few words to you
and still you kept that beautiful smile
at the end as it was time to go I told you who I were and walked you home to the door gave you a kiss and told you I liked you
hopinhg to see you again

I gave up smoking and didnt wated to go partying so much anylonger
but still I went to the bars to find some guys or see friend
one night I ended up ther again comming from a party were I did not drink
to know what I was doing I met you came partying with your friends you bought us drinks and were in a good mood still wanting to go for more
I was happy to see you again so I drank with you
and your friends telling you its enough and that we can go home now
it was the morning comming up and your friends seem satisfied already
I kissed you and you kissed me back touched and touched again
I led the man I was talking befor alone waiting at the bar he saw what I was doing and knew I was lost I knew I left him that night to be with you I made my decision

so you really took me home as your friends agreed to go home I droped my cloth and kissed you again drank some water and went to bed with you
we sucked and played like little boys sucking kissing sucking and kissing again
as I held you in my arms I felt so happy your stomach next to mine you body so fresh and soft strong and gentle I could have fucked you that night but some thing made me hold back so happy in your arms so quiet sleeping next to you
as we woke up we continued what we were doing kissing sucking sucking kissing
I was holding back till you came into my mouth hot and withe it felt good too I spit it out didn´t taste it for a long time wasnt bad made me going for more I hardly knew you were you one of those who didnt know who did n´t care or did I made you doing it what the fuck I dont know and I cant ask you
it was so nice when we had breakfast together I almost lfell in love with you as were talking all this things I never heared before and you seem so much to know about as it really was your interst on it just like me you told me you like me and that I am still pretty you said we can meet again I cgave you my numbers and send you a friend request you gave me your bussnes card you looked so qute
I was happy for a week and didnt not even think about the others I had before
I wonder who would call you told me on monday you got something to do I told you on sunday I know what to do
we chated I disturebed you you reacted with aggression I didnt know I didnt feel anything sitting in front of the computer typing words in it only time and waiting
so called you an other time

the fourth time I met you we had cake at your house I brought lome lemmonade I felt to warm to have coffe on a summer day you looked so sporty with your outfit and so clever with your classes
the sun was to bright in your eyes so I turned into the dark went down on you and would have fucked you right ther in the kitchen but I said can we lay on your bed and cuddle ... we did so so nice the bethe comming from the open balkony the sun shining on the white sheets I wanted to kis you all over
but we were not alone the all were there watching listening commenting loughing all the gohst and guhls of his mijesty the prince and his court I asked you for your ashtray and told you where I come from we burn them just to make sure that they are gone you said
its fine and you were ashamed you wanted to be alone and visit the doctors you dont trust
thank you for sharing the posen with me I led it work for three days
I still dont know were they all come from the plant the birds the parks
some say they go from one human to the other and thats the way the do not survive a 24h without you
ill gues well never know

you fuck

id like to have a weapon sometimes but I am glad I dont

Oka y

led me tell you about people ülaying ball I n front of my window at 1.30 at night I went out on the balkony and tell them to shut the fuck off

what else should I do
its not that i dont like them all these sceaming is just getting on my nerves for some time
and not only that last month we did not had hot water and the rent was not in the account and I have to find out where it is
my skin is breaking out like I am a 15 years old it hurt like my back I have night mares the assi amt is paying nothing but making me problems
tomorrow I get the results of my test I f I have siphilliys or some other std I wrote this guy an gr a mail about my problems and got no answer what ever I should have rWritten it her like the night mare I had recently when the aa told me they want the money back but I dont have 1700 € and I need their service soon again
now I dont have any money for a vacation
the jobs I have are okay but not really nice I feel a bit stupid doing it and sometimes I think if they would leave me alone I would do bette r
I got the computer back and now I find its so big since I jused the little one
have get in contact with the family again
its all a bit stupid in my life I havent found a therapist near by some were too busy some dont answer some only take privat versichert
I just need to find somebody to talk about my problems that is not chatting behind my back
I dont want to ask my friends for help because I like to have fun with them

well we will figure something out
the yoear is not over jet

uff