super stars

there are these people in my yoga class and they look like super stars like aliens created them as strong and sexy people wearing great fashion having good bodies and they seem to be friends and their clothes look like the have good jobs
aand they are even nice
I am jealous and frustrated and dumm and dont know what to do
I was in this school today to see If I could take the education there on the way there I got cought by the shitty bvg people and I pushed the wrong ticked and cought with with bc in a and had to leave the train and pay now 40 € and had to by an extra ticked for 1,40
was cring about two hours about how selfish I am met a man in the tram who was kind of nice he told me he was sleeping the hole winter on the floor two days ago he got a mat to sleep on I am just a stupid western zivilisation child that does not come along with its life I can fuck drink and smoke but does not make me a man or gives me anything
I met a friend today he was really good looking
we talked about and he is already in the 3rd semester and knows what is going to be
I know I cant be like him but I also want to do something about my life
I did not like the school because it was school and everything
I was so happy to see him
in the tv I saw the kids wish for love and enough to eat ...
why is everything so poor and rich why are we torn
I know we canot be happy every day but what can we do
I am happy when I feel the pain when I strech and try to put my head to the floor of course I dont want to do it all the time but I forget the other pain then
I am filthy all my clothes have stains and holes are out of fashion
I just dont like myself
I am afrait to have a desease and dont know what to tell the people from the assiamt
everything sucks
evrybody hurts
my head phones are broken and my mp3 player too
music is still to expensive and i am not a free man
life seem s like a illusion
hopefully ill have a fullfilling dream again